Talent balance: handling the psycho-social aspects of varying development in youth sport
The social aspect of sports is an important factor in keeping a child motivated to participate. They simply want to be with their friends. As athletes mature however, varying ability can separate the originally formed groups. The circumstances that call for kids to be separated by skill are commonly for the long-term benefits of everyone participating. From an adult standpoint this usually makes complete sense, yet from a child’s standpoint – even a rising teen – it may not. If addressed properly by parents and coaches, along with the athlete’s age appropriate willingness to remain focused on their situation, division or shifting of groups can be a simple transition and eventually a great learning lesson.
Use these tips:
Coaches
Start with a clear explanation to the parent and the child why you are moving them to another group. This may seem like it is a difficult conversation to have. But it should not be, especially if the reason behind your objective is to provide the child with a group/environment in which they will thrive; for example, if they are being moved for safety reasons, lack of skills for that level, a need to gain quickness, speed, strength, or just to gain confidence by mastering specific elements of the game before being further challenged.
Parents
If your child has been moved to a group or level that you are not comfortable with or you feel that the coach has not discussed the situation clearly with you or your child, then by all means schedule a time to talk to them. If they are unwilling to give you a clear explanation, then you have a choice to make: take some time to ride out the situation and trust the coach and their decision, write down your thoughts to get a more clear perspective of the situation, talk to someone you trust to get a bigger perspective, or contact a professional to see the full picture and expand the ways you can discuss this and make decisions with your child for your child’s best interest.
Here are ways in which everyone can feel more comfortable, empowered and eventually thrive regardless of group placement:
Build trust
Our brains are wired to protect us and question situations in which we face. This is why self-trust is so important when making decisions that involve other people (in this case the athlete and their group). To increase self-trust in decisions, make it a habit to use your intuition to its fullest; take a step back and look at the big picture and take a few minutes to pick apart your thoughts. Practicing intuitiveness, increases self-confidence, allowing us to see how things will unfold in front of us more clearly.
Use these 3 questions to help build better intuition:
What is my goal/purpose in this situation?
Am I comfortable with the process I am pursuing and is it helping me work towards that goal?
How could I be more focused/productive now, for long term progress?
Emphasize camaraderie
It is important for athletes to understand sport is not a one-person show (even if it is an individualized sport!). Every creature that walks the face of this earth has a part in both micro and macro ways. Sometimes this requires stepping out of our comfort zones to engage with others. For example, simply taking the time to ask a teammate how they are doing, cheer them on through a tough practice or help them with equipment, can change a relationship for the better. When an athlete is concentrating on their performance, obviously helping others is not always the first thought on their mind, so it is beneficial for coaches and parents to teach/prompt teamwork. Sitting with your team/child and creating a list of ways to support each other will make being a part of any group more enjoyable.
Promote centering and refocusing
Putting forth effort to reach the zone in everyday training increases an athlete’s concentration level, which in turn helps increase their drive to find success. Social distractions can be a big problem in everyday training even for tight-knit groups. It is important for athletes to re-focus on their task at hand and handle nagging thoughts during downtime through journaling, discussing it with a parent or professional.
Encourage broader social interactions
Athletes are people first, with talent in a sport, sometimes even the specifics of a sport. This does not mean that they should define themselves only by their sport. To handle things in day to day training with a steady mind, it is helpful for an athlete to build relationships in other areas of their life -- with other friends – even if it is something as simple as a Facetime or meeting for a latte, walk etc.
Prompt the use of mental skills outside of practice to stay “steady” in practice
We know practicing relaxation and visualization will help performances and overall wellness. Still, we overlook the impact of using mental skills to improve social skills. For instance, if all athletes enter practice with a “prepared” mindset, the practice environment will be maximized, which will minimize the negative effect of being in a different group than one is used to. Maximizing training environments and easing social drama loads, often boils down to these elements: a coach’s ability to clearly communicate, a caretaker’s effort to provide support for what their child/athlete needs and the athlete’s willingness to work on their focus and effort when it counts the most; whether that is in practice on the task at hand, or away from training by recovering, resting, and living life to its fullest.
